Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Randomize
