Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
honey bunches of taint.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
