Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
