I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
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He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
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See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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