Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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