Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Come share oat with me in your robe
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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