Kiss
Puke
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
