Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless