I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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