I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I've blown a few things in my day
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize