it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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