I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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