come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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