I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize