I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I can't put those talents on a resume
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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