Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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