It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
