dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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