I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize