Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
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Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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