my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i drank out of a bidet.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
