I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
