Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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