Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
