You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
