i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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