I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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