i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
