At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
