I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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