if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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