There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
