It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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