So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
