I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
