Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
