***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
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