How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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