I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
