So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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