sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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