I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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