i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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