You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
