Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
