need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
