this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
