Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
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level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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