if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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