the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
