Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
