he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
