Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
