Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
