Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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