Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
