Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
