And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
