i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
