Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
