Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm always down for nudity.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
