I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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