sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
