Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
