did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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