That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize