I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
